The Summer I Discovered Cult....

 My discovery and love for Cult Films started in the summer of 2000.....

Being a child of divorce, I spent most of my summers at my mom's. I kinda hated it because I was away from my Dad and my friends. I kinda enjoyed it because my mom lived in the suburbs, had high speed internet, cable television, the mall was a block away, the movie theater was a few more blocks away and my mother paid me some nice cash for chores. She paid the most for mowing the lawn and babysitting my little brothers. Both tasks were guaranteed 10 or more dollars. Growing up in households that didn't hand out allowances, that was a godsend.

At some point that summer, I had babysat my brothers. Real easy task: throw 'em in front of the TV and feed them every so often for 2-3 hours. My Mom paid me 15 bucks for the whole ordeal.  After I received payment, I begged my Mom to take me to the mall. It just so happen she needed to go that day. SCORE !

While my Mom was busy being child wrangler, I roamed the mall freely. With 15 bucks in my pocket, the sky was the limit.  Do I buy an expensive McFarlane figure from Spencer's ? A cheaply printed shirt from the Gags N Gifts ? Or find some CD or VHS for cheap at FYE ? I am going with the last option. It had been awhile since I bought a CD or VHS.

And what did I end up getting with my hard earned babysitting money ?

I had kind of became fond of Mr. Kid Rock's music during my pre-teen years. My parents weren't too thrilled with it. My mom wasn't too thrilled with this purchase. To this day, I still remember the look she shot me when I showed her this. It could have been worse ? Right ? Had I reached my lowest at this point ?

The appropriate thing to do: wait until everyone went to bed to watch this. Instead, I waited till everyone was out of the room. The video opens with all these strippers moaning "Kid Rock". This is great but were's the live footage or the music videos at ? During the moan session, the TV happen to be loud enough for my Mom to hear. She walked in and took one look at the strippers on the TV screen. Immediately, she sends me out of the room. I go to the kitchen. 

A few minutes later, she walks into the kitchen and hands me the videotape. 

 "Do you have the receipt ?" she says. 

"Yeah, why ?" I reply back.

 "You're taking this back tomorrow."

"Why ? They where just saying his name. What's the big deal ?"

"They took off their clothes."

"Oh." Followed by an awkward silence.

"Did you know there was strippers in this ?"

"No ?". Innocently enough, I didn't know. Then again, Kid Rock's name is on the fucking thing. I should have known there would've been at least one stripper in this.

The next day, my Mom and I went back to FYE. After my Mom berates the sales person for selling this to her 13 year old; I get my money back. Despite embarrassing the living fuck out of me, she's cool enough to take me across the overpass where a  Best Buy was located to buy something else. 

So I don't make the same mistake again, I opt for buying a cheap movie that I know she's never heard of or would watch with me. As I stroll through the VHS aisle, one VHS in particular caught my attention.

I remember looking at the cover, it really didn't reveal too much. This movie could be the best or worst thing I would ever seen. Then again, I remember my uncle telling me how awesome this movie was. My uncle is an awesome guy that would never lie to me. And for 8 bucks, what did I have to lose ? When we got home, everyone but me retreated to the backyard. I popped the tape in and immersed myself into the world of George Romero. 

For 139 minutes, I watched four people take a news station helicopter to escape the "zombie" epidemic until they end up taking refuge in a shopping mall ? It instantly became my favorite movie of all time. The film was simple, brilliant, and fun to watch. I needed to see more movies like this.

I did my research and found out two things. One, "Dawn" was a part of a trilogy that was referred to as George A. Romero's "Dead Trilogy" (Remember, we still had 4 years to go until "Land Of The Dead" was released"). Instantly, I remember doing some chores so I could buy the other 2 films. By the time school started that August, I owned both "Night" & "Day".

Two, "Dawn Of The Dead" was considered a "cult movie". From that point on, I was all about watching/collecting cult films. Cult movies became my favorite type of movie. My parents had no idea about these movies. They usually sold for cheap. And last but not least, they stood out. Years later, I am still watching and enjoy them. 

In closing, I would like to thank my Mom. If it weren't for her being a Mom and being grossly offended by Kid Rock; I would've never discovered "Dawn Of The Dead" and the cinematic joys of cult films. Sometimes, even the smallest things happen for a reason.

Once More 'Round The Mastodon

Fair warning before I start: I don't like, I fucking love Mastodon. With that said, I am probably going to be just a tad bit biased in this post-review blog. If you hate them, I wouldn't recommend reading beyond this sentence. If you like them, I recommend at least glancing over this post. If you fanboy (or girl) over them such as I, I recommend you read this entire thing. We clear ? Moving on......

The issue that introduced me to the almighty
Mastodon.

I first became aware of these Atlanta proggers in 2009. They were getting a ridiculous amount of press over their album "Crack The Skye". Aside from how this album came to be, I was also intrigiued of how every media outlet considered them to be "Progressive Rock" and or "Prog". Being somewhat of a prog connoisseur, I thought prog was a thing of the past; it does not exist anymore. Yeah we had Dream Theater and Queensryche, but when was the last time you seen them Rolling Stone or Revolver ? When was the last time they released an album with so much hype from the media ?

The one last thing that really grabbed my attention; they were mentioning Rush, Genesis, and Frank Zappa in their articles. My curiosity is at a all time high: I had to hear this album.

At first listen, I was just completely blown away. I was completely aware of musicianship and song structure of that magnitude still existed. Prog is back in a bold, new, aggressive way. Their metal but at the same time they are so much more. The musical diversity in this band is unreal. One track is metal, the other is sludge, and the other is something that Genesis would've done if they where a progressive metal act. After several listens of this album, I immediately obtained their entire back catalog and became a huge fan.

I pre-ordered this bad boy the first day they were available.

 My patience was tested a week prior to the release. Why ? Because I think I am the only one in my inner circle that actually waited to listen to this album on it's release date. Everyone of my peers who dig this band listened to this album a week prior via streaming. Me, I wanted my first listen to be on vinyl on the release day. I hate how we have options now, I miss the days where the only option to listen to a new album was on the release day. Sometimes, I hate the internet.

1. Tread Lightly: A very calm before the storm kind of opening for the album. Doesn't leave any clues of what your in store for the rest of the album. I love listening to albums with that kind of mystery.
2. The Motherload: A very uplifting tune.
3. High Road: I cannot stop listening to this song ! Do I have a legit problem or is this song that good ? The riffs are just chugging and heavy as fuck. The chorus is catchy. What's not to love about this song ? I am happy to announce that I have heard this song on the radio !
4. Once More 'Round The Sun: The third title track in the Mastodon catalog. After a complete listen of the album, I think it represents the album pretty well.
5. Chimes At Midnight: After hearing "High Road", I wasn't too crazy about this song at first listen. After repeated listens of this album, I grew to like it.
6. Asleep In The Deep: A pretty mellow tune.
7. Feast Your Eyes: A typical Mastodon tune.
8. Aunt Lisa: Love that "Hey Ho, Let's Fucking Go !" chant.
9. Ember City: I really dig Brann's vocal work on this album. Granted, he's only singing doing the chorus on this one. He's becoming the Phil Collins of metal.
10. Halloween: I just imagine this becoming a really wicked, crazy, visually entertaining music video.
11. Diamond In The Witch House: This one reminded me a lot of "Sleeping Giant". The song's pretty grand in scale. What a great track to end the album on.

"Once More 'Round The Sun" is very reminiscent of all of their previous albums. Which as a huge fan tells me that they haven't forgotten where they came but at the same time their moving forward. Too many bands fall victim to trying to recapture a certain sound they once had. Some call it "selling out". It's not selling out, it's called progress. You can't make that one defying album over and over again. For one, it gets boring. Two, your telling people you've reached your peak and you have nothing better to offer. They could have easily tried to do another "Crack The Skye" or "Leviathan". But they didn't because they are hellbent on progressing forward.

It'll probably be another 2-3 years before the next Mastodon opus. As with this record, the wait will be well worth it. In the meantime: they'll be touring, making crazy music videos, and even putting things out here and there. I'd read somewhere that they have leftovers from this album which they plan on releasing later on. Can't wait. You best believe I'll be listening to it on the release day.

Their set at this year's Rock On The Range. Third time's a charm !

Selling Out To The Man: The Beginnings Of Becoming An Online Only Consumer.

"Why Do You Collect ?"

There are many reasons, one of those reasons is the thrill of the hunt. 90 percent of the time, I have a clear perception of what I am after. How about that other 10 percent ? Aside from the item I am after, what else is in store for me ? What other cool thing might I find while I out ? All of those preconceived notions are why I collect; the thrill of the hunt.

However, there was an incident a month or so ago where my game changed entirely.

After my eye appointment, I decided to go to the mall. I have no use for the mall however, I was in the neighborhood and the FYE inside the mall usually has a good bargain or two. That and I knew they would have the reissue of Pantera's "Far Beyond Driven". I got there, checked new releases: not there. Check the "metal" section: not there either. What the fuck ? This is not an obscure release, why don't you have this !?!?!

I ended going to three other places that day to find it. None of them had it.

Usually if there's something I feel I desperately need: I go online. In this instance, I went to Amazon.  Amazon had it in stock and for 5 or 6 dollars cheaper.  I also managed to snag a few other items as well. In the end, my total was just about the same in comparison to going out to get it.

"That was easy" I thought. Not only was it easy but I got it cheaper. Then it came to me: maybe doing all of my purchasing online isn't a bad idea after all.

To be honest, I didn't want to become that guy. That guy that does the whole online thing (not knocking on anyone who does). For awhile, I was like "where's the fun in that ?". You just go on a site, type in what you want, find it, check on it, pay for, and in a few days to a week it's yours. Where was the fun in that ? I like the notion of going out to look for something. There again, the thrill of the hunt

On the flip-side, doing the whole online thing is super convenient. I got what I wanted plus more at a very reasonable price. None of the shit I bought, the price wasn't jacked up or at suggest retail price. Maybe I've been looking at this all wrong. Rather that using Amazon as my last resort, maybe it should be my only go to. Which isn't a bad idea considering where physical media is going. You ever notice that any department store with a media section is getting smaller ? It's a sign: physical media will be a thing of the past. Everyone wants to stream it, have a digital copy, or illegally download it. It sucks but I get. And you know what ? I can't hate on the streamers or pirates. Why ? Because they're making my hobby a even cheaper one.

In closing, my days of going to the mall or any other place that sells media are about over. It's sad but then again, it's called progress.

P.S. I'll still go to record stores. They will never disappoint or shove a god awful new release down my throat.

A Second Look At "Season Of Witch" aka "Halloween III: Season Of the Witch".

Probably the most underrated sequel in all of horror.....

In one aspect, I get why this gets a bad rap. The film dawns the "Halloween" moniker which means one thing; Michael Myers. In this one, Michael Myers isn't anywhere to be found (unless you count his brief cameo on the TV at the bar). How in the hell are you going to make a "Halloween" movie and not have Michael Myers in it ? A perfectly clear example of false advertising.

Then again, Tom Atkins is in it. Granted, no Michael Myers but he is a bad mother fucker in his own right.

Instead of murdering teenagers, Halloween III is an invasion flick centered around an annoying jingle that's the rage with all the kids.

I know, not as cool as seeing teenagers getting slashed with a kitchen knife. But, it does get better......

In another aspect, I don't see why it gets a bad rap. It's a pretty solid film. Typical invasion fare in here. You can clearly see the homages for "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" in this one. I dig this film quite a bit and you can too !

How ?

One major complaint I've heard and read: "Well, I would've like it better if it didn't say Halloween.". You just answered your own question. Just ignore the fact its suppose to be affiliated with the Halloween franchise. That's how I watched for the first time and continue to watch it. Trust me, after you get over that hurdle; you might actually like it just as much as I do.

Most (not all) sequels are bad. This one isn't. Give it a shot.

Discovered On VHS: Ghost World (2001)

Shit, was this really released 13 years ago........

I was 14 years old and my film obsession was in full swing. I had skewed away from the mainstream films at that point. Wasn't old enough to see the good stuff and the stuff I was allowed to see went from bad to worse. At this point, this was when I started getting into cult movies. Armed with my own 13' TV/VCR combo, I had bought Alex Cox's "Repo Man", Romero's "Dawn Of The Dead", and "National Lampoon's Vacation" on video that summer. Needless to say I didn't need to waste my time with my local theater had to offer.

One quick funny story about a movie experience I had in '01. My father took my brother and I to see Tim Burton's "Planet Of The Apes". On the way home, my father asked me what I thought. "The only thing I enjoyed about the movie was the Jay and Silent Bob trailer in the beginning" was my response. I can safely say that was the last time my Dad asked me my thoughts on anything.....

I vaguely remember "Ghost World". I remember watching the trailer and thinking "what the fuck ?". Back in those days, I don't think too many people researched a new movie before seeing it. In those days if the trailer looked awesome or interesting; that meant the entire movie followed suit. All I knew the movie was based off a weird, non super hero comic book and the main characters where 2 girls.  How good could this movie be ? Not that great considering there where no zombies, family vacations, or Emilio Estevez in this movie.

Fast forward 12 years later. I was rummaging through videos at a thrift store and I came across this:

The cover looks cool, I am finding Thora Birch strangely attractive, it's rated R, it's a screener copy, and it's only 99 cents: what do I have to lose ?

I bought a pile of videos that haul and I watched it this first. From start to finish, I was glued. The humor was dark, dry, and different. For a low budgeted studio film, it looked like a indie picture. The cast was diverse and great. All in all, it was a very unique film and I enjoyed it immensely. I fell in love with this film. Aside from the reasons above I can't tell you why I enjoy this film so much.

When I watch a movie from around my time, I tend to think about the year the movie was released. This was 2001, comedies where either from the gross out or PG-13 equation. "Ghost World" wasn't either, it was in a league of it's own. It definitely stood out from all the other comedies of the day.  Judging from the fads in '01, I can see why it wasn't it hit. No one had interest outside of seeing someone fucking a pie or a big screen adaptation of a 70's TV show.

Definitely one of the last batch of films to be christened with the "cult film" label. Not too long after this film, Hollywood only concentrated on pictures that would make money. You don't see too many cult films anymore. You see films that have that potential but to see an actual cult film is rare. I've only seen three in the theater in recent years: "Grindhouse", "Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny", and "The Lords Of Salem". Sad that "cult" is becoming a thing of the past. Then again, I enjoy the films that already are cult films.

Wind Up Workin' At A Video Store...

Sometimes, in that very rare occurrence, I get asked if I ever had a job at a video store. Well, I almost did. It's a very short story....

 Twas the summer of '06. I was a 100 pounds lighter, out of school, confused as fuck about the future, and was in need of employment. I did a 3 month stint at this place my old man worked at for 15 years. That went smooth until I got stuck with a group lead who had it out for my father. They got rid of my old man, only right to get rid of the son. Being stubborn and bit fearful of factories, I decided I should find another line of work. My options where limited considering I was 19, your typical non stoner slacker, and I lacked job skills. I wasn't prepared to go back to the glorious, booming world of fast food. I spent almost 2 years doing that. Fuck that. Work at one of those places for a week and you, just like me, will have no hope for humanity.

My luck would change, it just so happen a retail chain had a few spots open.....

Me at a video store ? That was my dream job. I get to spend all day talking about movies, looking at movies, and free rentals; sign me up. Filled out the application and a few days later I got an interview. Not going to lie, It helped that I knew someone working there.

The interview went okay. Considering I wasn't much to look at, I made sure to impress the manger by my abnormal knowledge of films, my passion for organization, and how I am stickler for suggesting films. By my account, it went alright until she asked one simple question: "So, what are your favorite films ?". I froze and then I blurted out the following; "Apocalypse Now", "A Clockwork Orange", "Back To The Future Part II", and "Dawn Of The Dead". They are my favorite films and they are pretty impressive films for a 19 year old to consider his favorites. The manager just looked at me, and by the way she looked at me you would've thought I named off  "Deep Throat", "Behind The Green Door",  "Dude, Where's My Car", and "Tinker In The Stinker". After that question, the interview ended.

In the end, I didn't the job. Shortly after, I got another job that I am thankfully still at and that pays a lot more. Was it luck ? Was it fate ? I don't know nor do I question it. I do know this, three years after that interview they closed. Don't worry, you're humble narrator reaped the benefits of that closing and made out quite handsomely by buying some nice titles for dirt cheap.

The Best Bands That Never Went Past The Sliver Screen.

To begin with, I loathe watching an actor trying to be a musician. It irritates me to no end ! I really didn't feel this way until I seen "Auto Focus". Watching Greg Kinnear not only bastardize the life and times of Bob Crane (horrible casting decision by the way), but watching him mimic being a drummer was torture. I mean you're a fucking actor, act like you can play the drums ! I know not everyone is a natural musician but you as an actor are suppose to make me think otherwise. Mark Wahlberg, whose the furthest thing from being metal; convinced me he was in a front man in a metal band. And that dude use to be known as Marky Mark.

On the flip side of all that, I've seen some bands in films that convinced me they where real. For me, they where so good I was sadden to know they their lifespan only existed the runtime of the movie. Maybe, in that rare occurrence, that one song on the soundtrack. In this list, I've complied a list of bands I felt where good enough to go beyond the sliver screen.

1. Stillwater from "Almost Famous"

It helps that the guy behind Stillwater's creation use to be a writer for Rolling Stone. Cameron Crowe has been around some of the greatest talent of our time. With that said, would you expect anything less from him when creating a fictional band ? I loved how they where a hybrid of the many 70's rock acts he interviewed. Aside from the extended cut, I bought the "Bootleg Edition" for the Stillwater CD.

2. Spinal Tap from "This Is Spinal Tap"

I love how they parody rock music. A genre that I love and cherish. But at the same time, they are not bad musicians. That was the irony of Spinal Tap; their poking fun at the ridiculous world of rock music but at the same time they can craft some good rock songs.

3. Wyld Stallyns From "Bill & Ted"

Granted, we never heard a Wyld Stallyns song. But judging from how they brought world peace, had George Carlin as a mentor, won the battle of the bands, and had a most excellent journey through time; we can safely say they probably would've been something awesome.

4. The Lone Rangers From "Airheads"

Aside taking a radio station hostage with water pistols, they nailed the music and the lifestyle of a 90's hard rock band to a tee. The drummer and bass player had shit jobs (the singer was voluntary unemployed), the singer was on a ever ending quest to get their demo in the right hands, they only had a few copies of the demo, they didn't suck enough to get popular, and they where desperate to make it. That was real life. It use to be like that for a local musician. I love "Airheads" because it was believable (except for the hostage bit). It was made at a time where being a rock star could still be a possibility.

Fun fact: "Degenerated" is actually a Reagan Youth song......

5. Crucial Taunt From "Wayne's World"

Come on, they had a mega babe for a lead singer !

6. Beef From "Phantom Of The Paradise"

The sheer genius of this film is that it's a complete satire of music of the 70's. You had the singer/songwriter (Winslow Leach), the nostalgic bands trying to market past musical fads (The Juicy Fruits/The Beach Bums/The Undeads), the female vocalist (Phoenix), and glam band (Beef). Beef had this Kiss/Alice Cooper quality to them.

7. The Stains From "Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains"

Probably the only really good fake punk band in cinematic history. This film was made when punk was dead, new wave had taken over, and the american hardcore punk scene was in it's infancy. So really, we have to marvel over The Stains in a way because of those circumstances. This film as a whole could've been a trainwreck if not done right.

8. Steel Dragon From "Rock Star"

Loosely based on Tim "The Ripper" Owens's Cinderella (the concept, not the band) story. I loved how the band was these metal guys and Marky Mark. The songs and the imagery made Steel Dragon believable for me. With all the flaws this film had, I enjoyed "Rock Star". And yes, I own it on DVD.

9. School Of Rock From "School Of Rock"

How do a bunch of private school kids rebel against the man ? Start a band with Jack Black.

And last, but not least.....

10. The Wonders From "That Thing You Do"

What's not to love about the The Wonders ? They had that one song, toured the country, made a brief cameo in "Weekend At Party Pier",  the drummer was a genius, and then they quickly faded into obscurity. A simple tale really.....

I loved how they kept playing "That Thing You Do" throughout the movie. Oddly enough, I never get tired of hearing it.